“What shall we do today?”
Couples the world over are feeling the effects of “Bride Drop” – that sensation that hits you like a badly-thrown bouquet after their wedding as they realise that it is all over. No more planning. No more people fawning over their every move. No more attention. No more champers at 10am for no apparent reason. The sudden sobering realization – that their daily lives are now emptier than the aforementioned champagne glass.
And should we be surprised? Your wedding day is a culmination of months (or, as is the case of some of my friends, even decades) of planning. You’ll experience nothing short of utter joy and elation on the best day of your life, followed by… What exactly? Marriage? GASP! Is that it?
Research by one U.S. psychologist found that 10% of U.S. couples seek counseling for symptoms that include remorse, sadness, and frustration. In addition, relationship experts believe that the post-wedding blues hit a similar proportion of Britain’s 275,000 brides annually.
These stats seem to point to one clear conclusion: many brides are left with a post-wedding hangover. Not the usual Patron-induced one, mind you; it’s one that leaves them feeling lost and empty. To be honest, I was kinda one of those brides. I woke up on the Sunday after my wedding and was completely heartbroken that it was over. I couldn’t understand why it didn’t carry on – why couldn’t there have been more than 24 hours in that particular day. Why, time gods? And physics? WHY?!
Now that it’s all over, what are you going to do with all of the energy, creativity and excitement that you had for the past year? What are you going to do with all of that extra time? How are you going to survive without having the entire world revolve around you? Well, take it from me, the best is yet to come, but here are a few tips to help ease the equivalent of post-nuptial PMS.
- Give yourselves something to look forward to. If your life together isn’t enough, then don’t go on a honeymoon right away – plan a romantic getaway for your one-year anniversary.
- Adjust your expectations. If you’re one of those people who has been dreaming of this perfect day since you were five, wake up from that nuptial slumber. A wedding is a conduit to marriage – something that takes far more than a year of DIY and Pinterest boards to perfect.
- Go back to that day. Often. Relive it. It will spark that excitement that you now crave. Look at photos, watch your wedding video, or go back to your venue to reminisce.
- Look beyond the alter. As fun as it is to take a stroll down memory aisle, your life awaits you. A life you have chosen to share with someone who rocks your world. Rock it!
The thing to remember is that planning a wedding is incredibly time-consuming. But life still goes on. If you can find enough hours in the day to handle all of your work, family, and personal commitments while planning your wedding, just think what you can achieve once those wedding bells have tolled. You now have all those extra hours, so use them! Devote the passion and attention-to-detail that you put into wedding planning to something you’ve been putting off – whether it be starting your own business, redecorating the spare room, spending more time with loved ones, or practising a sport you’ve been dying to perfect.
Imagine what you could achieve if you invested as much time and passion into perfecting something as you did your wedding day!
When the lights come on and the DJ plays that last song, nothing is different and that is a wonderful thing. Your wedding is not the end-goal and isn’t some magical light switch that will turn marriage on the following day.
In the greater scheme of things, your wedding day shouldn’t hold a candle to what marriage has in store. You are so much more than a wife. You are a friend, lover, and confidant. There is no need for labels if the love of your life views you the way he or she did on your big day.
Welcome to the rest of your life. Now go and live it.
Did you experience Bride Drop after your big day? I would love to hear your experiences and how you handled it.
This blog originally appeared on Change Exchange.