05 November 2015
Five years ago, I met a man. A man who was unexpected, unintentional, unwanted even. A man whose ambition, curiosity, humility and humour would change me for the better forever.
How did this man come about? It's a funny story, actually...
We met via Twitter in 2010. Yes, Twitter. You know, the place I went to NOT look for love? Yeah, that place.
Twitter 2010 was very different to the Twitter it is today. It was fun, light, and frivolous. Barry and I caught each other’s attention through other people we were following and started following one another for a few laughs (and he says he really liked my avatar).
His tweets made me snort tea through my nose. They still do. That's the thing with Twitter; you don't go into it looking for love, but you fall for someone's personality. Conversely, if you were to meet someone in a bar, you'd probably fall for their looks and consequently realise they were a complete doos after a few minutes. Meeting online happens the other way around (you have more of an idea of how cool or douche-y they are by their tweets.)
At the time, Baz was a partner in an agency that had Wonderbra as a client. They were running a competition to find the next Wonderbra boobs girl and I was doing quite a lot of modeling at the time, so, naturally, I entered my boobs.
There was a second element to the competition, though. Guys could “recruit” ladies to enter. This lead to such fun banter online as well as to Baz creeping into my DMs (DM stands for Direct Message and is a way for people to message someone privately on Twitter.)
So I received a DM from Baz asking me if he could recruit me for the competition, to which I replied…
Wait, wait! Before you all think I’m a dismissive asshole, let me explain… I had just gone through a heart-wrenching break-up. You know the ones where your heart is ripped from you chest, chucked on the floor, and trampled on? One of those. I was angry and not willing to let anybody in.
As is the nature of Twitter, we continued to interact with one another light-heartedly. I was intrigued by this smart, hilarious, business-owner (again, not romantically intrigued AT ALL), so I took the plunge and invited him as a friend on Facebook to find out more.
As soon as I saw he was from Durbs, I wanted to find out if there was a connection. I opened my message asking him if he knew my brothers. It’s Durban. I’m allowed to assume everyone knows the surfing Bisset twins. The conversation went something like this…
He still calls me Ratshit.
We sent messages to each other for hours on end and I was in awe of his humour.
Baz travelled up to Jozi in early November 2010 for the Cosmo Twitter Kings shoot for Cosmopolitan mag. We agreed to meet up. I thought he was cool and felt like meeting someone new who could make me laugh.
We made plans for the 5th of November. Well, he made plans… We were going to head to dinner then meet up with some of his snowboarding mates for a party afterwards.
To ensure this didn’t look like a date AT ALL, I went to where he was staying. I was having none of this fetch-me-and-open-the-car-door crap. Also, I was about to delve into by PDM exams. I was saying no to love.
There’s that saying that goes, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” I arrived at Baz’s apartment on 5 November and he had no shoes on. To this day, Baz is never ready on time. How he arrived on time for our wedding is beyond me (I think I told him the ceremony was an hour earlier.)
We sat on the balcony and talked about Baz’s company, my studies, Twitter, everything, and nothing.
I have never connected with someone so instantly. His story was compelling and I was in awe of his humility in light of all of his achievements.
We never left the apartment. We ordered pizza and drank wine until three in the morning. Baz was meant to be in Jozi for three days and he ended up staying for three weeks.
In theory, we were never meant to be. We met online. We entered into a long-distance relationship for two years. There was an age gap. We’re both business-owners.
You can’t plan love. You can’t give love a face. Love is not picture-perfect.
Today, we’ve known each other for five years and have been married for almost seven months. We have achieved more than we ever could have imagined, we've travelled, raised a cat, and we have yet to fight.
I love you, my Mess. Here’s to many, many more half-decades.
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