It's OK, Kim K. There's still hope.
02 April 2013

Truth be told, I couldn't give a Kardashian's arse about Kim K, but, with all due respect (not really), her maternity wardrobe has hurt my feelings. In fact, ever since Kanye became her illegal baby daddy stylist, everything down to the furry heels has gone wrong.

But I'm not here to feed you yet another blog on this eye-burning horror show. But, rather, to lend a helping hand to this poor soul whose hormones are wreaking utter havoc with her eyesight, or maybe mirrors are worse for the baby than leather.

Exhibit A: Now I'm not saying Beyonce was totally sane throughout her pregnancy, but flowing, light fabrics exude feminity and class. Kim, peplum pants do NOT achieve this. Kim, call up Beyonce. She's also got back and can give you a few pointers

Exhibit B: Kate Middleton. The Duchess of Cambridge is a perfect example of humility. Humility (noun) The quality or condition of being humble. We KNOW you're pregnant. You don't need to source the most skintight outfits from around the world. Ain't nobody got time for that. You have a divorce to settle and may want to channel your energy towards such things.

Exhibit C: Kourtney. That's right. You have a resource right under your nose!

Exhibit D: See, I'm tryna work with you, hun so I give you another curvy lady doing it right - Jennifer Lopez. I mean, she was carrying twins and looks half your size.

You're welcome. I'm here to help. Here's hoping you stop suffocating your unborn child with your designer duds. You still have a couple of months to redeem yourself.

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